Rescue Myself

With all that is going on in the world and with close family and friends I get overwhelmed. I feel like a lot of people need a lot of help. Sometimes I feel like I have given all that I got and it is time to rescue myself.

I feel like I am in a personal sabbatical. I take time for me everyday. When life seems confusing and conflicting I remember something I love and make every attempt to make that my focus for a short time.

Oddly enough I really enjoy walking on a treadmill while listening to music. I started exercising again about 7 months ago and steadily I am getting stronger. I have lost 5 lbs and my clothes fit better. More than that... I may be resurrecting an athlete I didn't know existed.

The walking supplements Hawaiian Outrigger paddling I try to do a couple days a week. Last nights paddle was amazing. I sat in seat 5 of a 6 man and I had a couple of strong, experienced male paddlers in front of me. I mimicked their body motions and found a new rhythm. The water was a bit choppy and we hit our paddles at the same time gliding though the lake. My stroke keeps getting better and better I think.

I rescue myself with water; Outrigger, lakes, ocean, pools, hot tubs etc. I started swimming when I was 2 but was put into the Hawaiian ocean just days after being born. I haven't really gotten back out.

Africa Maybe

I painted this picture back in 2006. I was imaging an American soldier in Africa maybe. He stood at the water's edge in full military gear looking out over the water.

I love Dr. Teal's Epsom Salt, Soaking Solution

My mom gave me a bag of Dr. Teal's Epsom salt, Eucalyptus Spearmint, soaking solution. I tried it about a month ago and fell in love with the mixture.

I used it for bugs bites on my ankles that were very irritating, it soothed the itching. Now I use it in my bath every time I get done exercising to relax my neck and shoulders. And the way I breathe better in the bath I am pretty sure it is helping my allergies as well.

What I like the best is the feeling that I am healing and getting healthier when I take a bath with Dr. Teal's soaking solution.

I spoke from my heart, now what?

I believe I had a huge fear that if I spoke from my heart the world would instantly change or go in the direction of what my heart wanted.

Sometimes nothing happens. I have found that the only thing that does change is that if I revisit the thought that I spoke from my heart I think, "I have already said that."

Mandalas

I am crazy about mandalas.
This one I created with Oil Pastels.

I love what I love

To be the dummy in my own experiment and jot down notes of my heart, the first observation would be, my heart doesn't follow any of the rules. I love what I love. Isn't that the rub we all struggle with.

Sometimes I feel love at the most awkward times. I could be staring at a strangers hat on a public bus and get caught. I look straight at a woman's breast because the pattern of her top mesmories me. A tall man with blue eyes will leave a lasting impression and then I go home to my husband and try not to wonder off in thought.

I love Italy although I have never been. I have made peace with Washington State after spending half my life there, sometimes I loved it but most of the time I was trying to leave.

I left Washington State in the winter of 2007 after I started on my Road to a Calling. Now I am in Northern California and it is gorgeous and I love it.

The start of A Road to a Calling.

I don't remember the Oprah show, just that it was April, 2007. Guests were talking about their calling in life. I questioned, "what is a calling?" How do you know what it is? Most people doing their "calling" followed their passions, followed their hearts. I knew I didn't know what my passion was and I didn't know how to follow my heart.

The morning of April 6, 2007.

Here it is, the beginning. I can say with certainty that I don't know what my calling is. But this morning on my drive to work, just before the large Staples store on my left in Renton, WA, I came up with the title, "A Road to a Calling." Ha, I was literally on the road. I didn't recognize that obvious fact until I started writing.

Today I still wonder if I can I figure out what my calling is? Two years later and I believe I have a glimpse. I know the voice of my heart. Can I express myself? Can I set my heart free? This is the challenge I am giving myself by starting this blog.